During our jog along the Hudson River yesterday, Niki confided in me that living in New York can often times feel quite normal: ”There are days I go home, whip up some pasta, climb in bed and watch Dr. Phil,” she laughed. “I have my normal days when I forget I’m actually in New York City.”

It’s true: this may be one of the greatest cities in the world, but not every day can be as fabulous as the show Sex and the City would have you believe. There are many typical, every day moments in this city. Today was one of those days for me. While I made it into the city to meet my brother for lunch, gift shopping at Dinosaur Hill for my nephew’s 1st birthday, and a book-browsing at Housing Works Bookstore, I didn’t do much else. Instead, I dilly-dallied around the apartment and worked on a hobby of mine, photography. I especially love food photography and lucky for me my brother had some delectable and colorful fruit lying around.

My brother’s place has a great thing going for it – it admits a ton of natural light – the kind of natural light photographers drool over. And he has this humongous bowling alley for a table. (Yes, you read that right, hipsters…) I can set up my display and climb on top and snap away from all angles. It’s awesome. (I’m getting sadder by the moment that he’s moving away to Switzerland soon!)

So what do you think? Do I have a spread in bon appétit magazine in my near future?

I set out today on a long solo walk through the city. As many times as I’ve visited NYC over the years, this was my very first time exploring all on my own.

Comfortable shoes? Check. Coffee? Check. Ready to begin roaming!

It was a crisp day – enough to need to don a jacket – but the sun was shining which made for the perfect environment for an aimless stroll. After arriving in the city on the subway from Brooklyn, I began my walk in SOHO and continued throughout lower Manhattan for over four hours! I made plans to meet up in the evening with my friend Niki for another jog together – this time on the Hudson River Greenway – and after a quick change in the NYU Law building’s bathroom and stashing our belongings in her locker, we were off on a 3-mile jaunt through the city streets to the gorgeous trail which has a view of the Hudson River on one side and of the spectacular city on the other. Heaven.

After our run we parted ways and I was once again on my own. I continued strolling until dusk where I then grabbed a subway back to Brooklyn and returned to my brother’s apartment equally as exhausted as exhilarated from the day. I was so proud of myself for being on my own and surviving quite well – even though I will admit I made a few calls to my brother for help with directions!

Springtime in Tompkins Square Park

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One of my stops today was to a locally owned bookstore. While browsing through a Nora Ephron book a line jumped out at me: she wrote that she has heard people describing New York City as “a place they would visit but never live”. I myself have heard this and have even said it. She continued writing that once she herself had moved out of the city, she soon found it was much harder to visit than to live there. I found that statement interesting and thought-provoking: what am I missing out on by always being a visitor to this city? How would things be different if I had a place of my own, a routine, a neighborhood, a job, and a group of friends to experience the city with? Would things that excite and inspire me when visiting bore or annoy me in only a matter of weeks or months? Or would the city transition to something even more magical? I have this inkling to find out. I want to be a part of this city as more than just a visitor.

But it’s not that easy or economical: it’s expensive to live here and without a job in place I don’t think I would have the gumption to do it. Sure, I have savings from the ship but the last thing I want to do is blow through them haphazardly. If I was going to live here I would want to do it right – meaning I would do it IF I could find a job I could be passionate about. Working would take up most of my time here – therefore I’d want it to be something that I could be proud of, something that could positively enrich my resume and life experiences, and I’d hope it could also be with some amazing coworkers to boot.

One can dream, right?

I am looking, if you’re wondering. But my resume is all over the place. It’s definitely not linear, just like my life isn’t linear. But that’s what I love about myself – I try new things, I take chances, I’m not afraid to reinvent myself. How to convince potential employers that these are all valuable attributes? I dunno – yet. I’ve traveled the world, I’ve met and communicated with people of all nationalities and diversities, I’ve challenged myself by trying new things and meeting new people and going new places. The next challenge is coming up with a way to package myself to showcase my qualities and talents.

I knew the transition from cruise ship singer to land-based living and working would be a tough road but it’s thrilling to be on it. Each and every day is different from the one before it. Each and every day I feel like I’m learning and growing. On land I feel like anything is possible. On the ship, stuck in a strict routine and unable to escape the enclosed environment didn’t leave much in the way of hope, possibility, creativity, or growth.

While it’s scary being on land, starting over new, and without a paycheck rolling in, I’ve learned that we should always head in the directions of our fears. If we’re fearful, we’re growing. I faced a fear of going out on my own today and look how wonderful it turned out to be.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily.  To not dare is to lose oneself.”  ~Soren Kierkegaard